Jack Straw and the veil

In support of Jack "Last" Straw

A proposal

I watched in disbelief as people walked around dressed in a most shameful and obscene diversity of clothes:

A young woman in faded blue jeans, brown boots and low cut yellow top.
A man in a dark blue suit and tie.
A woman wearing the niqab.
A young woman in dark blue jeans, green jacket and sporting a disdainful smile.
A man in a dark suit and red tie.
A young woman in black trousers, jacket and pink baseball cap.
A man in blue jeans and a black jacket.
A woman wearing a hijab.
A man in grey polo shirt and trousers.
A young woman in red top and black trousers.
A man in a dark blue suit (not grey: such a hideous crime).
A young woman in faded blue jeans and blue anorak.
A man in dark brown corduroy trousers, red T-shirt and cream safari jacket.
A man in black cargo trousers, black T-shirt and black raincoat.

As I consider this diversity to be highly unpatriotic as it asserts the individuality of these people in a manner which is detrimental to the unity, integrity, cohesion and security of the nation, making any possibility of communication unviable (it is not good to talk to somebody wearing a red top) and, furthermore, disturbing the sensibilities and infinite patience of the Great Leader of the House of Commons Comrade Jack "Last" Straw, I propose that the individuals listed above should be made to wear compulsory bright orange boiler suits, their heads to be shaved and no jewellery or any form of body adornment to be allowed.

Those who refuse to comply should be sent without delay to Guantánamo Bay for an unspecified period of time until they can prove that they will behave as good citizens.

Long live the Party!

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Page uploaded 17 October 2006

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